Beautiful - Inside and Out

Growing up, people fill in different shapes and sizes. With the media hounding us with what is supposed to be “perfect”, it becomes hard sometimes to think that you look beautiful. Mix that in with you seeking approval from others and not getting it, and what do you have? Someone who is constantly bashing themselves. Someone who isn't happy on the inside.

It takes a lot of strength for a person to able to pull themselves out of thinking that way. We give advice to other people saying that they look beautiful and that they should believe it, yet we don’t listen to it ourselves.

So let me tell you this. You have friends. They are not forced to be with you. They choose to. They choose to be friends with you, not because of your size, but in spite of it. They see you for you. The smart, funny, beautiful person that you are.

And so what if you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? You shouldn't have to have your happiness depend on others. Your happiness should depend on yourself. On what is inside. If you love yourself (and I don’t mean the “alone time” loving yourself, although, I think everyone should), and it shows on the outside, you will automatically attract others. And one day you will find that special someone. The someone that reinforces the fact that you’re beautiful on the outside and inside.

So remind yourself every day. I know I do.

You are beautiful.

Inside and out.

Grateful

She was very grateful for the people in her life. The people that supported her. The people that cared about her. The people that loved her.
Being berated and insulted almost on a daily basis on many things that were not her fault had taken a toll on her self confidence and her dreams. She went around believing that what he said was right. She wasn't smart, or pretty or well-mannered.
But she had her secret weapon. Them. The people who no matter what, showered her with love. Made her feel wanted. Made her happy. She could be who she was with them. They were the reason for her smile. 
So she no longer lived in silence. She spoke her mind. She voiced her thoughts. She had opinions. And she started following her dreams. 
She started becoming happy.

Siblings

I've been thinking about what to write since it's been a really long time since my last post, and yet nothing came into my head. This last week, my brother came home and it gave me time to reflect.
When my mother was pregnant, I wished for a younger sister or an older sibling. Someone that would pamper me and look after me or someone younger that I could share all my secrets with. Not once did I want a younger brother because I thought he would be the most immature person in the world and really annoying.
Growing up, he had a talent that surpassed quite a few people. He picked up a cricket ball at an early age and has flourished into an amazing cricket player. Along with that, I can say with a lot of confidence, that he has become one of the brightest, mature and handsome men that I've met. I'm not saying this just because he's my brother, I've heard it from other people that he has become a kind, young man, who matured quite quickly.
As a sibling, I didn't have much to offer him. With our age difference being so big, and my parents taking care of his studies and cricket, all I could say to him was to make sure he didn't make the same mistakes I did.
And he hasn't. My brother has excelled in everything he has done. He put in tons of hard work and it's all paid off. My brother is one of the most amazing people I have met. Not once do I wish I had someone else as my sibling because even though he's 16 and probably immature many times, he's the one person I can turn to for anything. Someone who when he comes home will fight for me and fight with me. 
We've grown up from biting each other and fighting each other to talking walks, watching movies and fighting over food. And he's the one person who hasn't judged me. At all. No matter what my flaws are or the mistakes I've made, he's the only one who has seen me for the person I am and nothing else. He knows that people make mistakes and he sees me for that. That doesn't mean that he doesn't shout at me when I make a mistake. Of course he does! But that's why I love him.
I'm probably writing this because he left last week and I miss the fact that the house isn't noisy anymore and no one is watching TV or the PS3. 
But I know that he's someone who will do anything for me, just like I would do for him.

Happy Mummy's Day

Since the day we are born until the day we die, there is nothing more comforting than being taken care of by your mother. May it be the age of 5, 20 or even 50, you always want your mother when you are sick, or going through a crisis or even just to gossip with.
I know growing up, I was never an easy child and I constantly fought with her about my opinions and how different they were to hers. How she was old fashioned and life wasn't how it was when she was a kid. And yet, despite all my tantrums, everyday as I left the house, she would say she loved me. 
My mother is a simple woman. She's doesn't care what people wear or what they say, as long as they are good at heart. She's the type of person who will cuddle with you when you're not feeling well and feed you even when you're not hungry. She turned from being my mother to being one of my closest friends. A person who is always there for me.
Being a mother is not easy task, as you can see here. But it's one of the most important jobs in the world. And one that other people take for granted.
So here's to you mummy. Thank you for being there for me and believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for bearing with my tantrums and stubbornness since I was born. Thank you for allowing me to irritate you every single day. And most of all, thank you for loving me unconditionally.
I love you (even though I may not say it enough)
So here is to another 23 years of annoying you and many more.

Soulmates

Don't you sometimes think that some people just happen to click?
That no matter what happens, you would fly half way across the world for them?
And when they aren't there, it doesn't feel the same?
These people can be anyone. Your husband, wife, parents, siblings, friends, lovers or even pets.
Sometimes I think that the reason we live so far away from these people is because others would be jealous with what we have when we're together. That the world won't be able to handle us, since we'd create a lot of chaos. That one look can make you laugh and you know exactly what they're thinking without uttering a single word.
That's why we have these people everywhere we go, so that we always have someone to share our world with, no matter where we are.
Who are these people?
Soulmates.

I'm worth it

I don't know if I show it or not, but there are so many times in my life where I have had to deal with confidence issues. I think everyone goes through it in their lifetime at least once where they feel like they aren't worth it.

I have battled it many times, where what someone says affects me. But slowly over the years, I think that I've learned that what someone says doesn't matter. Of course it's hard when it happens to be a loved one that spouts out horrible things about you, but you can't let it affect you.

I've had many people tell me I'm worth it and I've shrugged it off in the past, but now I've started listening. I think the beginning of this year made me realise that this is my life and it's the only life that I have to live so I have to do it my way.

I can't listen to people with negativity in my life. I can't hold on to it. I have to take it in through one ear and out the other.

This isn't an easy process for me, but I am working on it. I try to avoid situations that aren't good for me and try not to take harsh words to heart.

Surround yourself with people who think you're worth it and more. I don't know if it'll help you, but it helped me.

I've started telling myself that I'm worth more than I think.

One day, I'll think I'm worth it all.

S

Happiness comes from within

Happiness comes from within.

That's what I've been told all my life from numerous people, that you should never worry about what people say and be yourself.

This becomes a little bit hard when you are constantly criticized for who you are and when people are always trying to change you.

But one thing I've learned and I speak from experience is that no matter how much people pull you down, you always have to stand tall and smile.

Even when you're having a bad day, put on your best outfit and say you look amazing and it will put that extra bit of confidence in your step.

Surround yourself with people who understand you, support you and make you laugh.

Nothing is better than a good smile.

There will always be hard days. Days where you even question if you should still be here. The only answer to that is "yes". There is someone out there that loves you for who you are. Those little quirky habits that may annoy some people, make other people fall in love with you.

If you learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are, happiness only comes back tenfold.

And always keep smiling, you never know who will fall in love with it.

S

Words stay in the heart

This past weekend, my parents and I got into a huge fight. Words were exchanged and doors were slammed. This is normal in every family, so why am I bringing it up?

It's because of the aftermath. Have you ever been in a fight where you try and remember what people have said and you just remember the negative things they've said about you?

People say that actions say more than words, but remember that words stay in the heart. Sometimes what you say out of anger can stay in the mind of someone else for long periods of time. Whether it's something as simple as "You're stupid" to "I hate you" to "You've ruined my life", you have to keep in mind the impact that it has on someone else.

I admit it, I've done it. I've said things out of anger that I sometimes wish I could take back, but that's the problem, you can't.

So many young men and women hear the negative things that we say and take it to heart. You can't help it, we're human. They magnify all the negative and live unhappy lives.

So just be careful what you say. They can either make or break someone's day and you'd rather be the cause of someone's smile than their frown.

And one last thing, never forget to tell someone you love them. People tend to forget that they are loved and we need to constantly remind them. Don't wait for the perfect moment, do it now.

S

Be Strong

The other day, I heard a story about someone close to my heart. Let's call her R.

R married her husband S quite a few years ago, when I was a small child. She lived a life, that wasn't ideal but it wasn't bad either. Soon she had a baby girl and they lived well for a bit. During these years, S abused her verbally. Calling her names, saying she was worthless, etc. She left him and went to stay with her family but always went back to him. She had another baby girl and she may have thought that things would change now that they have two kids to take care of. But no. Things didn't change. Instead they got worse. A couple of days ago, he hit her, and threatened to throw acid on her face.

I think she finally had enough. She packed her things and left to go home. I don't know if she'll go back or she's call the cops, but I hope it's the latter.

My mum asked me this the other day after telling me this story. She asked, "I don't know if it's women who are less impatient, but she packed her things and left."

My reply to that was "It's not that women are less impatient ma, it's that in our generation, there is no stigma anymore if a couple is divorced. She doesn't have to worry about what people think, she has children to worry about and that's her first priority. Her husband is stupid to think that he can behave that way with her. She's less afraid, because people will always find out the truth."

Its so sad to hear that some people think that their loved ones are their property rather than anything else.

There's nothing that I can say to help her, except support her in what she does. I hope the number of people who behave like S decrease, and I hope people realise that you are strong enough to walk away. Don't worry about what people say. You are your first priority. If you are safe, then your family will be too.

There are always organisations that you can call for help in your country. Find out their numbers.

Be safe.

S