Beautiful - Inside and Out

Growing up, people fill in different shapes and sizes. With the media hounding us with what is supposed to be “perfect”, it becomes hard sometimes to think that you look beautiful. Mix that in with you seeking approval from others and not getting it, and what do you have? Someone who is constantly bashing themselves. Someone who isn't happy on the inside.

It takes a lot of strength for a person to able to pull themselves out of thinking that way. We give advice to other people saying that they look beautiful and that they should believe it, yet we don’t listen to it ourselves.

So let me tell you this. You have friends. They are not forced to be with you. They choose to. They choose to be friends with you, not because of your size, but in spite of it. They see you for you. The smart, funny, beautiful person that you are.

And so what if you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? You shouldn't have to have your happiness depend on others. Your happiness should depend on yourself. On what is inside. If you love yourself (and I don’t mean the “alone time” loving yourself, although, I think everyone should), and it shows on the outside, you will automatically attract others. And one day you will find that special someone. The someone that reinforces the fact that you’re beautiful on the outside and inside.

So remind yourself every day. I know I do.

You are beautiful.

Inside and out.

Falling in Love

As long as she could remember, she never felt like she was good enough. She never felt she was worth it. She never felt that she belonged.
It was countless years of disapproval from her parents that she turned out the way she was. Unhappy with all around her and thinking that she wasn't good enough for anyone out there. If she wasn't good enough for her own family, what made her think that she was good enough for anyone else? She started to look in the mirror and hated what she saw. Not only did she attack the way she looked; her skin broke out, her hair was falling and she thought that her thighs were too big, she started attacking her personality as well; she was too stubborn, she was rude and she was disrespectful.
When she left home, she entered a world that she didn't know existed. A world where people thought otherwise. People who thought she was beautiful. Beautiful on the inside. Who, when she pointed our her flaws, said that she was crazy and pointed out their own. It took her a long time to come to terms with this. She thought people were lying to her by saying she looked good. How could anyone think that if she herself didn't? Soon, she just listened and took it in and replied with a polite "thank you".
These were the people that she was the most comfortable with. The people that made her realise that who she was as a person was enough. That yes, people make mistakes, but they aren't put down for it. They were her stepping stones to something better. They started making her feel comfortable in her own skin.
Soon, she started waking up without that stomach turning feeling. Realising that she wasn't ugly or a disappointment. Realising that she was beautiful the way she was.
The stretch marks on her body, the pain in her eyes, the love handles that she hated. They were a part of her. A part of her story. A story that showed all her triumphs and disappointments. And for the first time in a long time, she fell in love.

Army of Shadows

We, as people tend to live life looking at the past and worrying that it will affect the future. We worry that we are too dependent on someone else and that their happiness is the only way we will be happy.
We worry.
I happen to be one of those people. I was always worried that my past will determine what my future will hold. I was always worried that making other people happy will result in my happiness, but that isn't the case. I can't live life for someone else. I can't live life in the past.
I'm taking small steps to make sure that I am happy with me. That my happiness isn't dependent on someone else. That my past doesn't determine my future. This doesn't mean that if someone is happy, I'm not. It doesn't mean that I won't try to make someone smile. I do that. Or at least I try to do that. All I'm saying is that if someone is upset at you or angry at you, don't let it bring you down. Don't let it dampen your mood. 
You control your emotions. You control your reaction. You control your life. Live in the moment. Live in the now. Don't dwell on the past and don't look towards the future. Don't look for someone else to be happy. Look within. When you're happy with yourself, the universe makes sure that everything falls into place. Not only are you happy, but everyone around you is happy as well. 
All saints have a past, all sinners have a future. The only thing holding us back is our Army of Shadows.