The Twinkle in Her Eye

A lot of times it takes us a great deal of strength to be happy. Genuinely happy. To know that we are content with who we are, what we're doing and be unapologetic about it.
She used to wake up every morning saying that she'd make him proud. That'd she'd be the apple of his eye. But it wasn't mean to be that way. Everyday something or another wasn't good enough. And it was her sibling who overshadowed her. 
She didn't mind it. She was proud of him too. His achievements were things that dreams were made of. And she was happy that he was achieving them. Yet, she wondered why it was so that he could do what he wanted and she couldn't. She put her creative streak in check, trying to please him. Eventually, learning that it would never be good enough, she stopped trying.
She wasn't interested in anything that she did. But when the moment came where she could unleash her creative side, her eye shone. She loved that she could express herself, even if it was only for a moment. She knew that this was the only time she had, and she took advantage of it.
As she grew up, she realised that it didn't matter to him whether she did well or not. She would never be good enough. And that was the day that she learned that she could be happy. Happy without anyone's approval. That it came from within.
So she decided to be who she was. She decided to fight for what she wanted. She was called a rebel, unruly and rude. But she was unapologetic about it. She decided to fight for herself. Why?
Because she knew she was good enough.

Day 1-6: Being Tested and Loved

As soon as I wrote my last post about being more positive, it's like the entire universe was out there to test me. The day after I decided that I would look at the silver lining of everything, my grandfather passed away. 
No one ever prepares you about what it's like to lose a loved one. No matter how much you think you've prepared, seeing the body in front of you and your whole family crying is too much to handle. 
However, I stuck to what I said. I looked on the good side. 
In the past week, I have been overwhelmed with the amount of love I have received from family and friends. Their outpouring of support has been nothing but amazing. People have been calling left, right and center to make sure that we're ok, offering food, laundry and even a bed to sleep on.
And my family? I couldn't have asked for anything better. Instead of grieving as people normally would, we decided to look back at the great memories we had. How all of us cousins at one point grew up in their house. How he would tell us the stories of the Mahabharat. How he made sure that in our family (mainly dominated by women), none of us ever felt inferior.
And the feasts he had? They were unimaginable. This would only occur when we went to visit them. He would call our entire family, which meant all my aunts, uncles and cousins and order food for all of us. All the talking, laughing and eating; that's what I remember him as.

He was a big man with an even bigger heart and I know that he's looking down upon us, smiling that we chose to remember him in this way.

We love you Bapai.

The Glass Half-Full

I happen to be the type of a person who sees the glass as half-empty. I've tried many times to be the half-full, but I told myself why build myself up for disappointment?
However, that shouldn't be the case. Hope is the one thing that gives people the strength to go beyond what they dreamed of. To think outside the box. And it's not just that, I think my entire mindset has to change. It has been slowly changing, I think I've become a slightly more positive person (fingers crossed) than what I used to be a year ago. 
And so I want to start this so that I continue to be happy and remind myself everyday that I have something to be grateful for. A reminder that the glass is half-full.
This is my personal journey. This is not to say that I won't write like I usually do. I will, but those will be additional posts. 
I will write everyday. I will write about something that makes me happy or something I am grateful for.
This, hopefully will open my eyes to the amount of things that make me happy. The small things that we tend to forget.
So I'm not asking you to do the same thing. But I do hope that you continue on this journey of mine, and once in a while take the time out to look at what makes you smile :)

I Promise

They walked together whispering to each other, making sure that the mothers didn't hear. She wanted to part her advice secretly. She knew that her friend was going through the same thing she was, just to a lesser extent. But she was young. It would have a toll on her. And so this is what she said: "The only way to be happy is to take out the negativity in your life. If you listen to the bad things that people say all the time, you will get depressed. You won't start liking yourself. I learnt this the hard way, and I don't want you to go through it. Some people are hypocrites, some people are just negative, there's nothing you can do. Just quietly listen, nod your head and run it through one ear and out the other. You control your happiness, no one else does. You are an amazing person. You are thoughtful, kind and caring and that's what matters most. At least your parents listen to you and respond in a more positive way when you told them how you felt. That's what matters. Don't listen to something you don't want to. You don't have to. Surround yourself with people who like you and your company. People who are positive. Life will become much easier. I say this from experience." She hugged her friend and as she left, whispered in her ear "It will get better, I promise".

To You

I know I haven't written in the longest time, but I've been busy and I didn't have any inspiration to write. Bloggers block I guess you could say.

However, this post is dedicated to my friends.

I want to thank each and every one of you for being in my life and having the role that you do. Some of you are there for the deep meaningful conversations, some of you are there for the dreams, some of you are there for the silly nights and some of you are just there no matter what.

I know I don't show it much but I love you guys and I am really grateful to have such an amazing group of people who have supported me and will continue to do so in my journey through life.

These are the people who have been with me through my tantrums, my ups and my downs and I can't thank you enough.

You all know who you are, and if you don't, then I will make sure you do.

I don't know why it just hit me today, but I am very grateful for each and every one of you.

Thank you for helping me be who I am.

Don't ever change, I'll smack you.

S

the small moments

As I was walking today to go and get my lunch, I saw an old couple standing in front of me. What caught my eye wasn't the fact that they were colour coordinated. It was the fact that she had linked her arm with her husband's and they crossed the street. Before you tell me that it was probably because she was old and needed support, let me tell you that both of them didn't need it.

And that's what made me smile today. In a world where people are so self-obsessed and many marriages end up bad, this couple who has been married for more years than I've been born, looked so happy. And I was surprised.

How was it that this couple looked so happy? How were they so content being with each other for so long?

And then I realised that it doesn't matter. They were just enjoying the small moment when he held her hand as she wrapped it around his.

That's when I knew.

It's not about grand gestures of love, it's not about earning tons of money. It's about the small moments. The moment where your fingers touch before holding hands, looking up at the stars on a clear night, or even just having a cup of coffee.

So make the small moments count. Because as you look back, those are the ones that you will remember and the ones that matter.

In a world where people are so impatient and in a hurry to get anywhere, these small moments are even more precious.

S

Happiness comes from within

Happiness comes from within.

That's what I've been told all my life from numerous people, that you should never worry about what people say and be yourself.

This becomes a little bit hard when you are constantly criticized for who you are and when people are always trying to change you.

But one thing I've learned and I speak from experience is that no matter how much people pull you down, you always have to stand tall and smile.

Even when you're having a bad day, put on your best outfit and say you look amazing and it will put that extra bit of confidence in your step.

Surround yourself with people who understand you, support you and make you laugh.

Nothing is better than a good smile.

There will always be hard days. Days where you even question if you should still be here. The only answer to that is "yes". There is someone out there that loves you for who you are. Those little quirky habits that may annoy some people, make other people fall in love with you.

If you learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are, happiness only comes back tenfold.

And always keep smiling, you never know who will fall in love with it.

S