Day 8: Homemade Sundays

I read a LOT. Well, I used to, and I'll get lost in the books I read. I need to catch up on my reading, and since I've been alone at home, I've had time to catch up on a couple of books.  A cup of coffee and good book is THE perfect way to start off my Sunday morning. 

There's nothing more comforting than home-cooked food. And better still, if you've made it by yourself. I SUCK at making Indian food. There are too many spices for my head to comprehend, which is why I usually stick to western food (my go-to dish is Risotto). The only Indian thing I can make is Chai. Oh! And Maggi. So today, I felt quite victorious when I made 3-dal Dal Takda (instructions were given via my parentals in India). And, it was yummy. 

Day 7: Long distance lovin'

To live in this generation means that the world is smaller. We have gone lightyears ahead from letters to using video chat like Skype.
Catching up with this lil cutie after such a long time is such a stress relief! Seeing people's faces over Skype is basically one step down from seeing a person face-to-face. Face-to-screen is good enough for me right now ;)
I'm glad that other than just talking to her on the phone, I can see her reaction and goofy face to everything I've said and I can't wait to squish herrrrrr. 

Day 1-6: Being Tested and Loved

As soon as I wrote my last post about being more positive, it's like the entire universe was out there to test me. The day after I decided that I would look at the silver lining of everything, my grandfather passed away. 
No one ever prepares you about what it's like to lose a loved one. No matter how much you think you've prepared, seeing the body in front of you and your whole family crying is too much to handle. 
However, I stuck to what I said. I looked on the good side. 
In the past week, I have been overwhelmed with the amount of love I have received from family and friends. Their outpouring of support has been nothing but amazing. People have been calling left, right and center to make sure that we're ok, offering food, laundry and even a bed to sleep on.
And my family? I couldn't have asked for anything better. Instead of grieving as people normally would, we decided to look back at the great memories we had. How all of us cousins at one point grew up in their house. How he would tell us the stories of the Mahabharat. How he made sure that in our family (mainly dominated by women), none of us ever felt inferior.
And the feasts he had? They were unimaginable. This would only occur when we went to visit them. He would call our entire family, which meant all my aunts, uncles and cousins and order food for all of us. All the talking, laughing and eating; that's what I remember him as.

He was a big man with an even bigger heart and I know that he's looking down upon us, smiling that we chose to remember him in this way.

We love you Bapai.

The Glass Half-Full

I happen to be the type of a person who sees the glass as half-empty. I've tried many times to be the half-full, but I told myself why build myself up for disappointment?
However, that shouldn't be the case. Hope is the one thing that gives people the strength to go beyond what they dreamed of. To think outside the box. And it's not just that, I think my entire mindset has to change. It has been slowly changing, I think I've become a slightly more positive person (fingers crossed) than what I used to be a year ago. 
And so I want to start this so that I continue to be happy and remind myself everyday that I have something to be grateful for. A reminder that the glass is half-full.
This is my personal journey. This is not to say that I won't write like I usually do. I will, but those will be additional posts. 
I will write everyday. I will write about something that makes me happy or something I am grateful for.
This, hopefully will open my eyes to the amount of things that make me happy. The small things that we tend to forget.
So I'm not asking you to do the same thing. But I do hope that you continue on this journey of mine, and once in a while take the time out to look at what makes you smile :)

I Promise

They walked together whispering to each other, making sure that the mothers didn't hear. She wanted to part her advice secretly. She knew that her friend was going through the same thing she was, just to a lesser extent. But she was young. It would have a toll on her. And so this is what she said: "The only way to be happy is to take out the negativity in your life. If you listen to the bad things that people say all the time, you will get depressed. You won't start liking yourself. I learnt this the hard way, and I don't want you to go through it. Some people are hypocrites, some people are just negative, there's nothing you can do. Just quietly listen, nod your head and run it through one ear and out the other. You control your happiness, no one else does. You are an amazing person. You are thoughtful, kind and caring and that's what matters most. At least your parents listen to you and respond in a more positive way when you told them how you felt. That's what matters. Don't listen to something you don't want to. You don't have to. Surround yourself with people who like you and your company. People who are positive. Life will become much easier. I say this from experience." She hugged her friend and as she left, whispered in her ear "It will get better, I promise".

Grateful

She was very grateful for the people in her life. The people that supported her. The people that cared about her. The people that loved her.
Being berated and insulted almost on a daily basis on many things that were not her fault had taken a toll on her self confidence and her dreams. She went around believing that what he said was right. She wasn't smart, or pretty or well-mannered.
But she had her secret weapon. Them. The people who no matter what, showered her with love. Made her feel wanted. Made her happy. She could be who she was with them. They were the reason for her smile. 
So she no longer lived in silence. She spoke her mind. She voiced her thoughts. She had opinions. And she started following her dreams. 
She started becoming happy.

Rebuilding

She was lying on her carpet, her face streaming with tears, crying out loudly over all the frustrations that she had. All the fights, all the failures, all the self-doubt. Each wail stood for one frustration after another. 
After about an hour or so, after her wails had turned into sobs, heaving, and soon nothing, she got up. Her throat dry, her eyes swollen and her nose stuffed. This was nothing new.
She wasn't the kind of woman who let her frustrations out; only a handful knew what she was going through. All the anger, all the frustration, all the sadness. It was all inside. She would be like this until one day it would be too much to handle. Those were the days this happened. A fight at home would trigger her and it wasn't just shallow crying, it was a cry from her soul.
This was her way of breaking down. This was her way of rebuilding. Of starting new. This was her way of making sure that her frustrations didn't follow her. That they stayed there. In the tears that she shed.