Sorry

Sorry.  The word no longer has any meaning coming from you. You say it over and over again promising that this won't happen again and yet here we are.  Sorry.  The message conveyed isn't that you will try not to do it again. The message conveyed is that you're saying it so that we go back to being normal. Sorry.  It doesn't come from within because you have too much of an ego to admit that you're wrong. You don't realise that leaving it behind is how you grow in a relationship. Sorry.  You keep on expecting us to be perfect not knowing that being perfect is a flaw. Sorry.  You want us to say it like we mean it, but we can't even get the word out of your mouth without another fight. Sorry.
Here I am, listening and not believing what you have to say. You say you won't do it again and here I am at the receiving end. All the words are forced words. If at one time you said it like you meant it, we wouldn't be here today.
Sorry. 

Beautiful - Inside and Out

Growing up, people fill in different shapes and sizes. With the media hounding us with what is supposed to be “perfect”, it becomes hard sometimes to think that you look beautiful. Mix that in with you seeking approval from others and not getting it, and what do you have? Someone who is constantly bashing themselves. Someone who isn't happy on the inside.

It takes a lot of strength for a person to able to pull themselves out of thinking that way. We give advice to other people saying that they look beautiful and that they should believe it, yet we don’t listen to it ourselves.

So let me tell you this. You have friends. They are not forced to be with you. They choose to. They choose to be friends with you, not because of your size, but in spite of it. They see you for you. The smart, funny, beautiful person that you are.

And so what if you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? You shouldn't have to have your happiness depend on others. Your happiness should depend on yourself. On what is inside. If you love yourself (and I don’t mean the “alone time” loving yourself, although, I think everyone should), and it shows on the outside, you will automatically attract others. And one day you will find that special someone. The someone that reinforces the fact that you’re beautiful on the outside and inside.

So remind yourself every day. I know I do.

You are beautiful.

Inside and out.

Choose Who You Want To Be

I was not a positive person. Not that I was a pessimist, but I like to think of myself as a realist. I told myself that I would look at the worst so that I wouldn't be upset. But most of all, I allowed the outside world to determine how I felt on the inside.
Over the past year and a half, I have struggled internally to find out what happiness is and how I can achieve it. How do I make my days better and see the brighter things in life. 
The answer wasn't about materialistic things. It was't whether I had the best clothes or a nice home. That did bring me happiness. But temporary happiness.
It was only after so many failed attempts that I began to see a pattern. It was the days that I choose to feel better that made me happier. The days that I realised that I didn't listen to the people that said that I was stupid or dumb or ugly.
I was the one that got to choose who I was. Whether I was the funny one or the smart one or the beautiful one. I got to define who I was and who I am. 
I saw this TedX Talk recently and it really hit home. Lizzie Velasquez has been labelled as "The World's Ugliest Woman". She was bullied at every step and turn she made about the way she looked and now she's a motivational speaker, has two books under her name and has a documentary coming about about her life. She's a person who has turned bad situations into good ones and used the negativity to fuel her into becoming better at what she does. 
If a person who has so much negativity in her life; a person who has been told to "do the world a favor, put a gun to your head and kill youself" can be so positive, what makes you think you can't?
Everyone has their own personal journey. Everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own insecurities. But only you can control how you feel. You can control what you think. You can choose who you want to be.
Be happy.

The Twinkle in Her Eye

A lot of times it takes us a great deal of strength to be happy. Genuinely happy. To know that we are content with who we are, what we're doing and be unapologetic about it.
She used to wake up every morning saying that she'd make him proud. That'd she'd be the apple of his eye. But it wasn't mean to be that way. Everyday something or another wasn't good enough. And it was her sibling who overshadowed her. 
She didn't mind it. She was proud of him too. His achievements were things that dreams were made of. And she was happy that he was achieving them. Yet, she wondered why it was so that he could do what he wanted and she couldn't. She put her creative streak in check, trying to please him. Eventually, learning that it would never be good enough, she stopped trying.
She wasn't interested in anything that she did. But when the moment came where she could unleash her creative side, her eye shone. She loved that she could express herself, even if it was only for a moment. She knew that this was the only time she had, and she took advantage of it.
As she grew up, she realised that it didn't matter to him whether she did well or not. She would never be good enough. And that was the day that she learned that she could be happy. Happy without anyone's approval. That it came from within.
So she decided to be who she was. She decided to fight for what she wanted. She was called a rebel, unruly and rude. But she was unapologetic about it. She decided to fight for herself. Why?
Because she knew she was good enough.