Sorry

Sorry.  The word no longer has any meaning coming from you. You say it over and over again promising that this won't happen again and yet here we are.  Sorry.  The message conveyed isn't that you will try not to do it again. The message conveyed is that you're saying it so that we go back to being normal. Sorry.  It doesn't come from within because you have too much of an ego to admit that you're wrong. You don't realise that leaving it behind is how you grow in a relationship. Sorry.  You keep on expecting us to be perfect not knowing that being perfect is a flaw. Sorry.  You want us to say it like we mean it, but we can't even get the word out of your mouth without another fight. Sorry.
Here I am, listening and not believing what you have to say. You say you won't do it again and here I am at the receiving end. All the words are forced words. If at one time you said it like you meant it, we wouldn't be here today.
Sorry. 

Beautiful - Inside and Out

Growing up, people fill in different shapes and sizes. With the media hounding us with what is supposed to be “perfect”, it becomes hard sometimes to think that you look beautiful. Mix that in with you seeking approval from others and not getting it, and what do you have? Someone who is constantly bashing themselves. Someone who isn't happy on the inside.

It takes a lot of strength for a person to able to pull themselves out of thinking that way. We give advice to other people saying that they look beautiful and that they should believe it, yet we don’t listen to it ourselves.

So let me tell you this. You have friends. They are not forced to be with you. They choose to. They choose to be friends with you, not because of your size, but in spite of it. They see you for you. The smart, funny, beautiful person that you are.

And so what if you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? You shouldn't have to have your happiness depend on others. Your happiness should depend on yourself. On what is inside. If you love yourself (and I don’t mean the “alone time” loving yourself, although, I think everyone should), and it shows on the outside, you will automatically attract others. And one day you will find that special someone. The someone that reinforces the fact that you’re beautiful on the outside and inside.

So remind yourself every day. I know I do.

You are beautiful.

Inside and out.

Choose Who You Want To Be

I was not a positive person. Not that I was a pessimist, but I like to think of myself as a realist. I told myself that I would look at the worst so that I wouldn't be upset. But most of all, I allowed the outside world to determine how I felt on the inside.
Over the past year and a half, I have struggled internally to find out what happiness is and how I can achieve it. How do I make my days better and see the brighter things in life. 
The answer wasn't about materialistic things. It was't whether I had the best clothes or a nice home. That did bring me happiness. But temporary happiness.
It was only after so many failed attempts that I began to see a pattern. It was the days that I choose to feel better that made me happier. The days that I realised that I didn't listen to the people that said that I was stupid or dumb or ugly.
I was the one that got to choose who I was. Whether I was the funny one or the smart one or the beautiful one. I got to define who I was and who I am. 
I saw this TedX Talk recently and it really hit home. Lizzie Velasquez has been labelled as "The World's Ugliest Woman". She was bullied at every step and turn she made about the way she looked and now she's a motivational speaker, has two books under her name and has a documentary coming about about her life. She's a person who has turned bad situations into good ones and used the negativity to fuel her into becoming better at what she does. 
If a person who has so much negativity in her life; a person who has been told to "do the world a favor, put a gun to your head and kill youself" can be so positive, what makes you think you can't?
Everyone has their own personal journey. Everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own insecurities. But only you can control how you feel. You can control what you think. You can choose who you want to be.
Be happy.

The Twinkle in Her Eye

A lot of times it takes us a great deal of strength to be happy. Genuinely happy. To know that we are content with who we are, what we're doing and be unapologetic about it.
She used to wake up every morning saying that she'd make him proud. That'd she'd be the apple of his eye. But it wasn't mean to be that way. Everyday something or another wasn't good enough. And it was her sibling who overshadowed her. 
She didn't mind it. She was proud of him too. His achievements were things that dreams were made of. And she was happy that he was achieving them. Yet, she wondered why it was so that he could do what he wanted and she couldn't. She put her creative streak in check, trying to please him. Eventually, learning that it would never be good enough, she stopped trying.
She wasn't interested in anything that she did. But when the moment came where she could unleash her creative side, her eye shone. She loved that she could express herself, even if it was only for a moment. She knew that this was the only time she had, and she took advantage of it.
As she grew up, she realised that it didn't matter to him whether she did well or not. She would never be good enough. And that was the day that she learned that she could be happy. Happy without anyone's approval. That it came from within.
So she decided to be who she was. She decided to fight for what she wanted. She was called a rebel, unruly and rude. But she was unapologetic about it. She decided to fight for herself. Why?
Because she knew she was good enough.

Power of Change

Every single time we have hope in humanity, something always tests us.
The abuse of prisoners in the US. The hostage situation in Sydney. And now, the children who were killed in Peshawar.
132 of them. 9 staff. 
These were the children of the future. The children that with the education that they had, would have changed the world that we lived in, making it better. They would have been doctors, teachers, lawyers, business owners. 
It was the reason they got up in the morning. And now, they can't.
That's what the they were afraid of. Of what these children could do. Of the power that they had. The potential that they had.
Let's make sure that these children didn't die in vain. That we can make the world a better place. For the future. So that children can go to school without worrying about being shot or bombed. That they can be successful business owners, doctors, teachers, lawyers. That they do have the power.
The power of change.

Learning Respect

Rape in India has been a large issue in the last two years after a girl died after being gang-raped in 2012. Once again, it surfaced on the news when a woman was raped by her Uber driver in Delhi. There have been countless pleas from women all over asking for the Justice System to work and make sure that the people who have raped others be given a sentence that they deserve. We talk about becoming a society that will grow exponentially. That will make leaps and bounds in the next couple of years, but how are we supposed to do that when people don't feel safe?  I don't mean just women by the way. Men get raped too.  If we can't stop objectifying people, how are we supposed to grow as a nation? Can the person who committed this crime not realise that this person is a relative of someone else? What would happen if someone raped your family member? Imagine this: She walks down the street. It's 10pm and she's on her way to meet her friends for drinks. She's wearing a jeans and a top, nothing too fancy because she wanted to be home soon. The bar was close by, so she decided to walk instead of taking a taxi.
As she walks, a man starts walking behind her and follows her. She notices him and starts walking faster, hoping she can make it to the bar in time. 
She doesn't.
He grabs her and puts his hand across her mouth as he drags her behind the building. She struggles as much as she can and tries to scream. Yet it doesn't work.
He forces her on the floor and starts to lift up her shirt so that he can fondle her. Then he starts unbuttoning her jeans. He's too heavy for her to push him off her. He pulls down her jeans and she goes limp, too stunned to say anything. While he's inside her, he says that if she tells anyone, then he'll hurt her family. 
When he's done, he zips his pants and walks away.
She, is lying on the floor, unable to move because of how painful it is.
This is not a scene that you want to picture, and yet it happens more frequently than we think. Imagine if this happened to your family member. Your sister, mother, daughter. On top of that, reporting this and knowing that nothing is being done. Makes your blood boil, doesn't it? So then how can these men do this to our women.  We spend a lot of time worshiping Goddesses and saying that since cows provide us with milk, we shall not harm them and let them roam freely on the streets and yet to someone who has mothered us and given us life, we decide to defile them? In rural India, a lot of people think that men are worth more. That they will be able to plow fields, build houses, etc. But please ask me this, who gave birth to them? Who fed them, taught them and helped them grow? Women. And yet, these are the women that get treated the worst. We as a nation, no, we as a planet should all strive for one thing. Safety. We should have roads, bars, houses, cars that are all safe to use at different hours of the day. Men and women should feel safe whether they walk along the roads at 3pm or 3am. Men and women should know that they are ever violated, in any way, then something will be done. Men and women should know that their children will be ok if they take public transport by themselves.  It all begins with respect. Respect one another. Respect the old man that walks down the street. Respect the police officer that is trying to help you. Respect the small girl that is eating her ice cream. Teach your children to respect everyone. That everyone should be equals. No one should be looked down upon or looked up to like Gods. No one should be objectified. No one should be hurt. Only then, will everyone be safe.

Day 12: Modern Family

Modern Family. 

A mix of everything possible and sometimes making my family look sane.